Category Archives: Corporate Insanity

Imperatives and Explanations

While on the subject of workplace toilets, Alistair Dabbs observes:

Also highly revealing about a workplace is the signage displayed in office restrooms. Wherever I go, no matter how posh the surroundings, workers appear to need wall-mounted directives printed in large font sizes on how to use — or rather, how not to misuse — the facilities.

This reminds me of the facilities I encountered at a previous employer. The cubicles on the first floor (which was inhabited mainly by IT folks) all carried a sign instructing you to clean the pan after use.

On the second floor (where the accountants lived), the cubicles carried signs explaining how to clean the pan after use.

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Money for Nothing

UK government paid consultants £680K for Brexit customs plan

Government records show the U.K. tax authority, Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC), spent £680,000 on a contract with consultancy firm McKinsey & Company to, among other things, assess the “commercial feasibility” of the “new customs partnership model.” That is one of two customs proposals put forward by U.K. Brexit negotiators last week in talks aimed at avoiding a hard border between Ireland and Northern Ireland.

The customs arrangement designed by McKinsey was, of course, dismissed as unworkable as soon as the rest of the EU saw it.

Hiring consultants is like wishing really hard. It doesn’t mater how much you spend — or how much you wish — the impossible will remain impossible.

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I’m forever selling bubbles

Long Island Iced Tea Corp renamed itself to Long Blockchain – and its shares went bananas

Non-alcoholic beverage slinger Long Island Iced Tea Corp, which is publicly traded and wasn’t performing particularly well financially, decided to rename itself this week to Long Blockchain – and its share price soared 289 per cent.

I should start a company called “The e-Cyber Blockchain Business”. With a name like that, I won’t need a product.

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Another Uber protest

Brussels taxi drivers protest against Uber

Around 200 Brussels taxi drivers staged a protest against the private hire app Uber on Tuesday morning. The drivers are unhappy about what they see as unfair competition from the app posing a threat to their jobs.

I find that my sympathies tend to be with the taxi drivers when it comes to disputes about Uber.

Ultimately, Uber is nothing more than a minicab firm with an automated dispatcher and underpaid drivers. I don’t really see why people keep getting so excited by this.

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Facepalmbook

What could possibly go wrong?

Facebook has begun conducting a pilot where it solicits intimate photographs of women – and it will soon offer the service in the United Kingdom. Anxious exes who fear their former partner is set on revenge porn will be urged to upload photographs of themselves nude.

There are already plenty of candidates for worst idea of 2017. It’s nice to see that the Zuck doesn’t want to be left out.

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Quote of the Day: Don’t believe the hype

So the role of the programmers was one of silent insubordination: the goal was to save management from themselves. And we’ve seen this replayed with a succession of technology hypes ever since.

Andrew Orlowski

I’m reminded of a remark from Frank Soltis that I saw many years ago. The gist of it was that if you want to know the next big thing in IT, you should read in-flight magazines. His reasoning was that executives travel they flick through these magazines — they probably don’t understand what they’re reading, but by the time they land they do want to know why we don’t have a purple database.

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Password Rules Are Bullshit

Jeff Atwood makes the obvious point that the worst, of many bad things, about passwords is password rules:

Password rules are bullshit

  • They don’t work.
  • They heavily penalize your ideal audience, people that use real random password generators. Hey guess what, that password randomly didn’t have a number or symbol in it. I just double checked my math textbook, and yep, it’s possible. I’m pretty sure.
  • They frustrate average users, who then become uncooperative and use “creative” workarounds that make their passwords less secure.
  • They are often wrong, in the sense that the rules chosen are grossly incomplete and/or insane, per the many shaming links I’ve shared above.
  • Seriously, for the love of God, stop with this arbitrary password rule nonsense already. If you won’t take my word for it, read this 2016 NIST password rules recommendation. It’s right there, “no composition rules”. However, I do see one error, it should have said “no bullshit composition rules”.

I would add that possibly the worst password rule is the one that demands you change your password on a regular basis. Either people will start writing down their passwords, or come up with a pattern that ensures their passwords are always easy to guess.

Password rules aren’t just bullshit, they are actively counter-productive.

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Stupid never learns

From the terms of use of the London 2012 Olympic website (handily archived for posterity by Index on Censorship):

Links to the Site. You may create your own link to the Site, provided that your link is in a text-only format. You may not use any link to the Site as a method of creating an unauthorised association between an organisation, business, goods or services and London 2012, and agree that no such link shall portray us or any other official London 2012 organisations (or our or their activities, products or services) in a false, misleading, derogatory or otherwise objectionable manner. The use of our logo or any other Olympic or London 2012 Mark(s) as a link to the Site is not permitted. View our guidelines on Use of the Games’ Marks.

In other words, they didn’t want anyone linking to them unless they were going to say something nice.

This time around, ESPN (via Gizmodo) reports that it’s the turn of the United States Olympic Committee to fire up the stupid with a letter to companies that sponsor athlete but don’t have a commercial relationship with the USOC or International Olympic Committee.

“Commercial entities may not post about the Trials or Games on their corporate social media accounts,” reads the letter written by USOC chief marketing officer Lisa Baird. “This restriction includes the use of USOC’s trademarks in hashtags such as #Rio2016 or #TeamUSA.”

The USOC owns the trademarks to “Olympic,” “Olympian” and “Go For The Gold,” among many other words and phrases.

No-one has claimed a trademark for the hashtag #Facepalm2016 or the phrase “Grab for Cash”.

The letter further stipulates that a company whose primary mission is not media-related cannot reference any Olympic results, cannot share or repost anything from the official Olympic account and cannot use any pictures taken at the Olympics.

At this rate, the 2020 Olympics are going to be remarkably quiet when someone tries to prevent any coverage of the event by anyone.

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